"I'm in so much pain", Sarah said into the phone. An anguishing sob trailed after a pause in between her sentence. A sob so out of her normal character that I could almost feel her emotional pain and frustration. That's the very first thing my best friend said when she answered the phone this morning. What troubles me most about this is that she has several different conditions that are known to cause much physical pain yet nobody is keeping her comfortable by treating her for that pain. Due to the Heroin Epidemic it is very hard to find a doctor who will prescribe her anything because it is feared and statistics show that patients will become addicted to the narcotic and eventually turn to the street drug, which is cheaper and stronger. I know that my friend would never get caught up in heroin and anybody who knows Sarah would agree, but try telling a doctor who doesn't see her in such agony when it strikes and they will assume she's drug seeking. It is my opinion that there wouldn't be a heroin epidemic if Doctors would just treat their patients with their given pain level. There is no other way to test or determine other than to trust the patient. After all, we put our trust and lives into their hands. Also, No : This topic is not open for discussion. There are several ways to determine a drug seeker and Sarah is not one of them. The next step is to get her referred to pain management, but as you can assume, that too is a process and a longer amount of time that goes by that she remains in pain. Anyway, back to Sarah's frustrations instead of mine :)
Normally, when we cry to one another it's because of emotional circumstances that can be patched up with advice from similar experiences. Unfortunately, I cannot relate, but what I have come to realize early into Sarah's Journey is that just listening can be more beneficial than anything else. That and humor ;) It may not fix the problem, but I am a firm believer in not letting your thoughts consume your mind when you're going through a bad time. The pressure of negative energy needs to be released in a positive way when it builds up and your mind needs to be treated and healed with positive energy and that's where my humor comes in :D Today's blog specifically reflects around some of the ups and downs of emotions that take place once everything sets in. I feel that Sarah's mind is going into an adaption mode to emotionally and psychologically prepare her for everything that she is going to experience within the next few months.
Last week I woke up before the sun was even awake to go to Sarah's Doctor's Appointment for moral support. This was her appointment where her surgery to remove her thyroid would be discussed along with her questions and concerns. During our drive she expressed her frustrations and that's when I knew that everything was finally hitting her. Up until that morning she was pretty positive and keeping busy to keep her mind off of things, but I think that the doctor's appointment left her with no other choice, but to face reality. I could see an instant change in her demeanor when I hopped into the vehicle and I knew that she just needed somebody to listen to her.
It was very important to Sarah that I mention one of her frustrations in this next blog. She greatly appreciates all of the support that has poured in since I posted her first blog about her conditions as it has reached well over 300 views. I see her face light up when she talks about reading all of the kind words, positive vibes, prayers, and genuinely concerned people who have shown support on my page. I feel that positive energy is without a doubt a therapeutic medicine and while this was her choice to make her journey public she also wants others to respect her privacy. She mentioned her frustrations over the fact that people who never gave her the time of day before began sending her friend requests on Facebook and asking family members questions. I totally get it because being genuinely concerned versus being nosey can be a difficult card to read. I've been there under different circumstances and while you appreciate the support and concern and it can be upsetting/frustrating when you realize that some people are involving themselves for the wrong reasons. So please, out of respect for my best friend respect her privacy. If there is something she wants people to know she will gladly have it shared on my blog. It may sound silly to the reader, but I can guarantee that if you're reading this and have been through any type of crises then you will agree and relate to how she is feeling.
We arrived to her appointment extra early so that she could fill out paper work. To lighten the mood I made inappropriate jokes about the personal questions on the forms, which brought a smile to her face. When we finally got called back we continued on with our twisted sense of humor while we waited for the Doctor.. By the way, I HATE Doctors. I put on my hard ass face and was ready to throw down at the first arrogant response that the doctor would give to any of the questions my friend has scribbled out on her folded piece of paper, but I was wrong. In walked a very kind woman, who introduced herself to me, greeted us both with a smile, sat right next to Sarah, and talked to her like a person and not just a patient. She gladly took Sarah's folded piece of paper, slowly read through the questions, and she answered them very thoroughly. I was very impressed. 
The doctor explained that generally patients only stay in the hospital for one day after having their thyroid removed, but because Sarah has a very weakened immune system due to her Crohn's she was advised to prepare for a longer stay just incase her body doesn't respond like others after this procedure. We originally thought that she would start radiation therapy immediately after her surgery, but to Sarah's relief that won't be the case. 4-6 weeks after surgery she will be sent to another specialist who will give her 1-2 doses of a radiation pill. I'm sure that this will leave her exhausted while she also battles her Crohn's, which she had to stop taking the medication for since it can interact negatively with the whole thyroid process. Lastly, she found that she must get some of her molars pulled before she begins radiation due to the excessive vomiting from her Crohn's Disease. She's been using special toothe paste to protect her enamel, but unfortunately because is so sick the acids have began destroying some of her teeth :( These things make Sarah's current situation more stressful and frustrating. Cancer and surgery are emotionally and physically exhausting all on their own, so to adding other life threating conditions and obstacles to the mix only makes it harder. Sarah received the call that the surgery to remove her thyroid is scheduled for December 18th, just 7 days before Christmas. Another one of Sarah's frustrations is that she can't do the simple things that she's used to doing with her 4 1/2 year old son. It's hard for her to get into the holiday spirit and I know that she's worried about how she will be feeling during the holidays with having surgery so close to Christmas. That's where I had a brilliant idea to bake cookies with our kids at some point within the next couple of weeks :) Nothing wrong with celebrating Christmas early considering all of the store have Christmas Decorations out before Halloween (lol).
